Dad didn't feed his 5-month-old baby while Mom was out for hours, claiming it was because she didn't leave instructions: 'Had I not come home, baby wouldn’t have eaten for 5 hours or more.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 22, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

He knew she would be gone for that long, and she had left instructions! 

One of the most important decisions you can make in your life is who you get married to. If you get married to the wrong person, and you will know if you do, you need to make sure you don't have kids with that person. Otherwise, they will be tethered to you for life, and you can never totally leave them behind. The mom in this story has a useless husband who doesn't care enough about his baby to take care of him for a couple of hours, and I feel so bad for her. She is clearly an amazing mom who deserves so much better. 

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  • Father carrying sleeping baby girl in bedroom at home.
    via Getty Images (Unsplsah+)

    Dad holds his 5-month-old baby

    Models for explanatory purposes only.  

  • My husband didn’t feed our baby because I “didn’t leave instructions”. Looking for input.

    Basically what the title says. Looking for advice/input on the situation since he's basically given me the silent treatment since. This happened yesterday.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • She needs some well-earned alone time after being the sole caretaker of her baby

    Our baby will be 5 months old tomorrow. I had the opportunity to take some art classes recently, which has been a very needed me-time to try and find myself again a bit (since 99% of my time is dedicated to baby care nowadays).
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • This was the 3rd class I attended, 3rd time my husband stayed home with baby during that time. Our baby has had the same feeding schedule for months and nap schedule has been consistent for weeks.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • That seems like a pretty easy schedule to keep up with!

    Baby naps, wakes, diaper change, feed, play, nap again. Every day. 3x a day (bedtime is the only time. he eats before sleep). My class was from 2-4. We wake baby from his nap at 4 (to keep bedtime on track) and he's due for a feed immediately after.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • Same thing every single day. So today, I put baby down for his nap at 2, run to my class (Nextdoor luckily) for which I was a few min late. As I was leaving around 4:15, my husband texted me asking if baby should be
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • He is already minimizing the importance of the baby's schedule

    woken up. I mentioned that he was supposed to wake him 15min ago to which he said "15min isn't a big deal". A bit of mental math later, I figured wake windows and bedtime. I decided to stay chill about that little mishap.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • But then, when I came back from my class around 4:30, I noticed the high chair hadn't been moved and no bottle was left out. I asked if baby ate well and my husband said he didn't feed him. I was shocked and he said that I "didn't tell
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • A high chair that hasn't been moved to the table yet.
    via Jayson Hinrichsen (Unsplash+)

    A high chair that hasn't been moved to the table yet. 

    Licensed media provided as editorial context

  • For a baby, eating 30 minutes later than usual is a major routine disruption. They are not a 35-year-old man who can eat dinner late and not notice the change in routine.

    him/didn't leave him instructions". I got ped because I shouldn't have to tell a father to feed the child he's caring for. Baby has had the same exact feed schedule and overall routine for months.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • You have to be a fool to not know how often your baby is eating, even if you're not the primary caretaker of the child. He has had months to learn his child's routine, and he hasn't done that.

    Husband got angry saying that I should've left him instructions and that he can't know etc. I mentioned that I might've come home later (last week class went on till 5pm) and asked if he would've not fed him then?? What would've
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • happened had I not come home? Baby wouldn't have eaten for 5hours or more? I told my husband that "caring" for a baby includes feeding and diaper change. Not just staring at the baby on its playmat or existing in the
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • Happy smiling baby girl lying on colorful play mat on the floor.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A baby lying on a play mat.

    Model portrayal.

  • There's a huge difference between figuring out your baby's schedule during their first month of life and still not knowing what you're doing by month five.

    house while baby naps. That when i asked him if he could care for him, and he said yes, it implied feeding etc. Again, our baby is 5mo old tomorrow. This isn't a new thing in our lives at this point.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • Not to mention i downloaded and shared my huckleberry on my husband's phone a couple months ago, and even showed him how it works, so that if im ever not here and he has doubts, he can see when baby ate, pooped, slept
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • How hard is it to look at an app to help your child stay regulated and happy?

    etc and even ask "berry" if needed. Baby has the exact same schedule every day it's clear as day if you look at the calendar on the app. Mid conversation, he stormed off into our bedroom.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • He sounds like a real winner

    I followed him asking if he'd at least changed baby's diaper to which he responded by flipping me off. So anyways. Am I wrong here? For being ped? Because he's convinced I should've left instructions and it's my fault and he's
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • making this about me causing relationship issues because I'm being "critical". Literally turning this entire issue into a "how we treat each other" problem. Which is ridiculous since none of this would be happening if he had just cared for his
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • This is so sad. She deserves so much better than what her husband is giving her.

    child like he said he would. This situation made me so sad because I was finally able to have some relaxing me-time thinking my baby was cared for and I come home to find out he wasn't. I want to get back into the gym
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • This dad is the king of weaponized incompetance. There is no reason he needs more instructions than the ones he has already been given.

    and find hobbies again at least a few times a week but there's no way I can if everytime I leave baby with his dad, there's a chance he won't be fed or cared for properly unless I leave detailed instructions (which is exhausting and makes being out a chore more than anything).
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • Do you think she should leave her husband?

    How would you proceed here ?
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • Edit/add on because it wasn't clear I think: the issue isn't that the baby was fed 30min later or woken 15min later than usual. It's that my husband wasn't planning on feeding him. When I asked my husband if he had fed the baby, he said.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • What kind of idiot doesn't know that a baby has to be fed?

    he didn't know the baby had to be fed. Not that he was running behind on feeding him. And that when I pointed out that our baby eats every 4 hours and it's the same everyday, he got mad saying I didn't give him instructions. And then it
    via u/Ok_Medicine440
  • escalated and he flipped me off when I asked if he'd changed his diaper. To respond to those who said maybe go old school since the app may not work for him. I did write him an entire email document once with everything I learned
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

  • He is actually evil.

    about our babies from sleepy cues, to hunger cues, to gas, to feeding and sleeping. Every little thing. He said it was too long and never read it.
    via u/Ok_Medicine440

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Babies baby babysitter bad parenting bad parents parenting babysitting bottle feeding dad feeding mom sleeping Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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